DOMESTIC VIOLENCE,TRENDING MENACE TO THE SOCIETY.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: THIS IS THE PARTENR OF ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR IN ANY RELATIONSHIP THAT IS USED BY ONE PARTERN TO GAIN  OR MAINTAIN POWER AND CONTROL OVER ANOTHER INTIMATE PARTNER.

Domestic violence also named domestic abuse, spousal abuse, intimate partner violence, battering, or family violence is a pattern of behavior which involves violence or other abuse by one person against another in a domestic setting. Domestic violence can take a number of forms, including physical, verbal, emotional, economic, and sexual abuse, which can range from subtle, coercive forms to marital rape and to violent physical abuse such as female genital mutilation strangulation and acid throwing that results in disfigurement or death.

You will agree with me that of recent the issue of domestic violence has being happening in Nigeria BACK TO BACK. Of cause the victims of domestic violence are overwhelmingly women both locally and  globally and women tend to experience more severe forms of violence. Domestic violence occurs when the abuser believes that abuse is acceptable, justified, or unlikely to be reported. It may produce intergenerational cycles of abuse in children and other family members, who may feel that such violence is acceptable or condoned.

CAUSES OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.

The core cause of domestic violence is the absence of LOVE or disappearance of LOVE. It’s either the love was not there from the first (like in the case of arranged marriage and marrying because of wealthy desire) or at a point in time, because of certain issues the Love that exist between the couples disappears.

Abusers may feel this need to control their partner because of low self-esteem, extreme jealousy, difficulties in regulating anger and other strong emotions, or when they feel inferior to the other partner in education and socioeconomic background.
Some people with very traditional beliefs may think they have the right to control their partner, and that women aren’t equal to men. Others may have an undiagnosed personality disorder or psychological disorder. Still others may have learned this behavior from growing up in a household where domestic violence was accepted as a normal part of being raised in their family.
Children who witness or are the victims of violence may learn to believe that violence is a reasonable way to resolve conflict between people. Boys who learn that women are not to be valued or respected and who see violence directed against women are more likely to abuse women when they grow up. Girls who witness domestic violence in their families of origin are more likely to be victimized by their own husbands.
Alcohol and drugs may contribute to violent behavior. A drunk or high person will be less likely to control his or her violent impulses toward their partner, so keeping such drinking or drug use episodes to a minimum may be valuable for a person living in a domestic violence situation.

4 IMPORTANT QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

IF A WOMAN IS BEING ABUSED, WHY DOESN’T SHE JUST LEAVE THE RELATIONSHIP?

• Women often stay because the abuser has threatened to kill them if they leave, or to kill himself, or to kill the children.
• Women believe these threats, for good reason - the most dangerous time for an abused woman is when she attempts to leave her abuser. Hell No. Thinking that it is safer staying with your monstrous husband rather than leaving him is as good as suicide.
• Women sometimes stay because they are financially dependent on their partner. Over 1.22 million Nigerian women live in poverty, along with their children. Women who leave a partner to raise children on their own are more than five times likely to be poor than if they had stayed. So the bottom line is, if a woman is not educated or do not have a skill and lazy, she is more expose to domestic violence. So as a father or father to be, please I de on my knees give your daughter a quality education.
• Some women stay because they have strong beliefs about keeping family together. Sometimes, relatives or in-laws blame the woman for the violence and insist she stay.
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• DOMESTIC ABUSE IS OFTEN A GRADUAL PROCESS, WITH THE FREQUENCY OF ASSAULTS AND SERIOUSNESS OF THE VIOLENCE SLOWLY ESCALATING OVER TIME. SINCE ABUSERS OFTEN EXPRESS DEEP REMORSE AND PROMISE TO CHANGE, IT CAN TAKE YEARS FOR WOMEN TO ADMIT THAT THE VIOLENCE WILL NEVER STOP AND THE RELATIONSHIP IS UNSALVAGEABLE. IN THE MEANTIME, THE LONG-TERM EXPERIENCE OF BEING ABUSED CAN DESTROY WOMEN’S SELF-CONFIDENCE, MAKING IT MORE DIFFICULT TO BELIEVE THEY DESERVE BETTER TREATMENT, THAT SHE CAN FIND THE COURAGE TO LEAVE, OR CAN MANAGE ON THEIR OWN. Please if at any point in time, your fiancé raise his bloody hand against you, even if you have being wearing his diamond ring for 5 years ( lord of the rings. Lol) please and please take a respectful bow and walk out of the relationship.  

Who is most at risk?

• Violence against women happens in all cultures and religions, in all ethnic and racial communities, at every age, and in every income group.
• However, some women are especially at risk

What effect does domestic violence have on children?

• Although adults may think “the kids don’t know,” research shows that children see or hear many domestic violence assaults.
• Domestic violence is more common in homes with young children than homes with older children.
• Children who witness this violence are at immediate risk of being physically injured.
•  Children who grow up in violent homes are more likely to be victims of physical abuse.
• While not all children who witness violence suffer direct physical abuse, they frequently develop long-term behavioural and psychological problems.
• Exposure to violence can affect children’s brain development and ability to learn, and lead to a wide range of behavioural and emotional issues such as anxiety, aggression, bullying, phobias, and insomnia.
• Research shows that children who witness violence are more likely to grow up to become victims or abusers. 
• Children who witness violence in the home have twice the rate of psychiatric disorders as children from non-violent homes. 

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What should I do if I think someone is being abused?

• If someone is in immediate danger, call the police in your community or call like 3 able-bodied men to safe the woman. You are not JET-LI or John Cena, Don’t single handedly engage with a man who beats his own wife ooo. Tor.
• Put her safety first. Never talk to anyone about abuse in front of their suspected abuser. Unless she specifically asks for it, never give her materials about domestic abuse or leave information through voice messages or emails that might be discovered by her abuser. However, abuse thrives in secrecy, so speak up if you can do so safely.
• If she wants to talk, listen. If she doesn’t, simply tell her she does not deserve to be harmed and that you are concerned for her safety. Ask her if there is anything you can do to help, but don’t offer to do anything that makes you uncomfortable or feels unsafe.
• If she decides to stay in the relationship, try not to judge her. Remember, leaving an abuser can be extremely dangerous to her children. Sometimes, the most valuable thing you can offer a woman who is being abused is your respect.
• Shear this article with her.

Can violence against women ever be stopped?

• Although some people may think violence against women is not very serious or is a ‘private’ matter, these attitudes can be changed. Drinking and driving was once treated almost as a joke, but thanks to strong advocacy campaigns, it is no longer socially acceptable and is subject to serious criminal penalties. In the same way, public education, violence prevention programs, and a strong criminal justice response can bring about an end to violence against women in Nigeria.

Protective Factors

On the other hand, there are protective factors that can reduce women and girls’ risk of violence, including:

• completion of secondary education for girls;

• delaying age of marriage to 18;
• women’s economic autonomy and access to skills training, credit and employment;
• social norms that promote gender equality;
• quality response services (judicial, security/protection, social and medical) staffed with knowledgeable, skilled and trained personnel;
• availability of safe spaces or shelters; and,
• access to support groups